On International Day of Families, parents who have adopted their children tell their stories of loving and caring from heart
It’s not flesh and blood but heart that makes a family. Indeed, adoption may not be the call for a perfect, rosy family but a call to give loads of love, care and patience. On International Day of Families, parents who have adopted their child tell their stories of what it means to widen the scope of what constitutes love, ties, and family.
Chisy Das, who works in client servicing says, “Adoptive mom? Who said? I am a mom and I require no label. The bonding between me and my 12 year old daughter is so strong that I always forget she’s not from my womb. Biological motherhood and adopted motherhood cannot be different – both emerges from the heart.” The only challenge she has faced is the curiosity in the child to know more about herself. Das adds, “She has the right to ask me every question and I am bound to give her the answers. We have built this relationship in a very truthful manner.”
Adopting a child is such a powerful, emotional experience that it’s hard for parents to put it into words. Maria Gomes, a homemaker says, “When my daughter was first placed in my arms, it was love at first sight! I was overcome with so many emotions – an instant and tremendous love for this tiny being, a complete sense of peace, and a fierce feeling to protect her. My husband was also smitten by her and ever since she has gotten away with everything. Our love is real.My family is real. It’s all real.”
Adoption can be an inclusive and rewarding experience for all the family. Varun Saxena, a self-employed insurance advisor says, “10 years to our marriage and we were not able to conceive. My wife was so upset and that is when we decided to adopt. It was a bumpy ride but worth the fight. Our daughter’s 2 years old now and my whole family and even my neighbourhood love her unconditionally. Not a day goes by when they wouldn’t want to see her. She has won everyone’s heart. When she says ‘papa’ I just melt there and then.”
A moment in arms but forever in heart, is what Ramesh Ramachandran, deputy general manager, Steel Authority of India feels. He says, “As soon as I saw her at 5 months old, I knew adventure was going to happen. It was such a welcoming experience. We thought it would take a lot of time for her to gel up with the family, but she bonded so well so soon. It was like she was always a part of our family. She’s 12 years old now and extremely close to me.”
Parenthood requires love, not DNA. Akarshan Sharma who works at a consulting firm says, “The fact that we are not genetically related is immaterial to our parent-child bond — the same cycle of love, hope, anxiety, stress, and craziness ensues! Me and my wife have always loved kids but could never conceive so we decided to go in for adoption. Somehow destiny came into play and our 2 year old son, then 5 months old, ended up with us and we ended up with him. The love he has given us is immeasurable and as a family we now feel complete. Sometimes we ask ourselves ‘are we even worthy of his unconditional love and affection’. It’s just so hard to imagine our lives without him.”